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Crack open the champagne!

Ok so I haven't written in a while, just been distracted with things, and lacking energy - work and the weather are so depressing right now

But one more week of work, and it's Christmas, so it's a couple of days break, and we get New Years Day off, which is fabulous! I can recover in peace, instead of in an office with the bloody phone ringing all day...... The beginning of the week was grey and miserable, and highly depressing, as was today. But the middle was very cold and crisp and frosty, and it was sunny which made the frost all sparkly - those are the kind of days winter should be made up of =)

But I had today off of work, a combination of a half day Christmas shopping privilege we get (antiquated, but damn welcome!) and some flexi time I've managed to build up. So me and Mum got up early to go into Staines and get all our Christmas shopping finished off. I think apart from wrapping paper, everything is now bought. But we left the house just before 9 this morning, and didn't get home til 5 this afternoon. God I'm shattered! But got everything done in one hit, which makes me feel relieved. My card took just a slight bashing though! I'll worry about it tomorrow

I've been incredibly stressed all week though. I was meant to get my period last Friday...... and it still had not materialised by last night. By which point I cried myself to sleep, because I was so stressed out thinking about it all day everyday, which probably wasn't helping, it was probably delaying it even further I think. I hope I haven't made too many mistakes at work this week, but my head was just totally taken up thinking about it, instead of concentrating on anything. But oh the relief this morning! I will freely admit me and David have been incredibly stupid in the last few weeks, which I wasn't entirely comfortable with, though it was totally my decision, it was hard to say no. I must learn more self control....... Hence I am going back to the doctors on Monday, after reading my helpful little leaflets about contraception (I should really read those.......). And they will give me the Pill, or inject me, or implant me, or do whatever the fuck they need to do to prevent me from having another week of stress like this! God I don't know what we would have done....... I would like to think David would stand by me, not necessarily because he wanted to, but out of a sense of morals, but it's still so early in our relationship I don't know how well we would have fared. Anyway, panic over, I'm not pregnant and David isn't going to become a Daddy just yet, so time to move on

I was watching Jonathan Ross at Dad's tonight, and Kerry Katona (ugh) was on there talking about some book with her name on, even though she didn't write it. And it gave me some fresh idea's for that book I keep planning to write, and just can't get round to starting....... All I have is some vague ideas and a list of possible character names, for no-one in particular =( I just can't motivate myself. I would like to say I don't have the time, but that's not entirely truthful...... I don't have all the time in the world, but I do have some. I just need to organise myself

I have to go to bed now, I'm shattered from so much walking and carrying heavy bags today! But I think I'll go to bed and test my new nail varnish and scribble down some ideas for my book in a notebook that will promptly be put back on the shelf and forgotten about! I should be more positive and optimistic - but I know myself, and realistically, that is what will happen! One day..........

PS. I have the urge to be all domestic and bake gingerbread men - but by tomorrow I probably won't!

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Polly Prissy Pants

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